If your partner has ever shown any signs of physical abuse, you need to prepare now to keep yourself safe

If you are living in an abusive relationship – especially one with physical abuse – you need to prepare now to keep yourself safe.

Australian data shows clear spikes in domestic and family violence during major sporting events — especially the AFL Grand Final and NRL State of Origin. But they aren’t the only sporting events where violence spikes. Global research shows domestic violence rises when sporting events are:

Major finals
Culturally significant
Involve heavy rivalry
Highly emotional
Include increased alcohol consumption
Gambling
Feelings of stress or disappointment

In addition, given Australia’s weather, major sporting events are often the precursor to pre-Christmas festivities where the risks to the safety of yourself, your children and pets can continue.

The actual statistics are horrifying but we’d rather focus on things you can do to reduce your risk while you prepare your escape plan.

Here are 6 ideas to stay safe

Look for patterns or triggers of abuse

Think back to the same time last year and any times recently where you felt unsafe. Are there any patterns or situations when you felt anxious or have experienced physical abuse? Abusers are volatile which means you can’t predict what they’ll do next with any certainty. But where patterns seem to occur, you can make plans to reduce your risk of abuse.

Make plans to be out of the house

If you are highly monitored, your ability to leave the house may be limited. But if you can, try to arrange ahead of time to be out of the house and away from your abuser during the periods you are most likely to be in danger. This may even mean staying overnight with a friend or family. Requesting or telling your abuser that you are going out may spike enormous rage so you need to decide what’s going to be more dangerous – telling your abuser you are going out or being present when his team loses. Watch this video to learn how our Founder faced this dilemma. It’s captioned for silent viewing.

Arrange for friends or family members to visit your home

If leaving the house is not possible, ask friends or family members to visit you throughout the match and in the hours afterwards to help keep you safe. This will hopefully give your abuser time to settle down because they rarely show their true colours when other people are around.

Organise playdates for your children

If you can’t leave, at least get your kids out of the house and away from your abuser. Even if they are too young to understand what’s going on, they will feel the tension and potentially hear the distress. As a parent, you need to shield them from the abuse as much as you can.

Ask someone to take care of your pets that weekend

Pets can be easy targets for abusers. They will also feel the tension, hear the distress and be affected by the abuse.

Arrange for you, your kids and pets to stay with friends, family or just go away for a few days

This may seem impossible to achieve but try using the excuse that it will help to keep the house quiet so your abuser can enjoy the match or game in peace. Or any excuse you feel may work. Doing this will also give you an opportunity to see how your kids behave when they are away from the conflict and hostility. Don’t forget to look for any differences in the way you feel when you are in a safer environment. Do you sleep more soundly, have more patience, feel more relaxed? These are all signs that you need to seriously consider leaving your abuser.

This is a difficult topic so thank you for staying to the end. Don’t forget: